I do hate the double standard that it’s totally fine for men to joke and talk about sex, but when a woman does it, she must be dirty in some way. I get that biologically, women have had to be more choosy with partners because for a long time, the best protection was zero insertion, or the chances of ending up with a child you didn’t want were nonzero. Things are different now. We have the pill. We have emergency contraceptives. Some of us even have access to abortions.

Sex isn’t dirty. It’s normal and natural to want it. It’s normal to have a hard time getting it. It’s normal to be frustrated by the dating field and navigating relationships. It’s normal to feel incredibly rewarded when you do get it. And it’s normal to want to blow off steam by talking to people closest to you about your successes and failures in life. And a big part of being human is one’s own sexual exploits.

One of my closest friends is a woman about 13 years older than me (I’m 33; she’s 46), and she’s going through menopause right now. And she’ll start talking about the difficulty it’s bringing her, and she’ll tell me, “You don’t wanna hear about all this,” or, “I know you don’t care about this.” And the truth is that I do not nor could I ever understand what she’s going through, but as a friend, I can listen to her complain about it and give her the space to vent. Even if I’ll never get it, I can just be a voice in the room to pull out some great hits like:

• “Jeeeesus, I’m so sorry,”
• “Yikes, that sucks,” or
• "Haha, Fuck. That."

As a man, I don’t always have follow up questions or advice to offer someone going through issues unique to women. But people aren’t always looking for advice. Sometimes, it’s just nice to have the space to blow off steam with a safe person.

And that’s not dirty. It’s something we all do.

I’m so happy we moved away from this and toward three basic questions:

• Where do you want it?
• How hot do you want it?
• How hard do you want it?

What some call “compression artifacts,” I call “extra crunchy.”

Meanwhile, men of culture:

But don’t ask me what it stands for. :P

Can’t wait to see where he’ll be hiding next time shit hits the fan. I reckon it’ll be under the Resolute Desk. Fuck this redneck asshole with a long, dry, splintery pole. I’ve voted against this wad every time I could, but I’m heavily outnumbered here.

My wife thinks I’m the smartest man she has ever known. Meanwhile, I’m slapping my own head going, “This baby can fit so many Wikipedia articles in it.”

Intraosseous insemination

If engine size is inversely proportionate to penis length, what does that say about cyclists?

Talk about cocky.

I really liked Ubuntu, too. It was the distro that got me into Linux in 2012. I don’t feel bad having switched to Debian Stable, though. I love my Debian.

Duck be on the ark tonight?

But hey, anal juice is also pretty good.

Replace “token” with “title” and “monkey” with “car,” and you’ve got a formula most people understand.

I own the title, but I don’t own the car.

Unlike the monkey, you can go find the car in the real world.

Aw man, I loved their last album. I never realized they released another. I was listening to The Scholars by Car Seat Headrest for a good portion of last year.

Sometimes you Ea-Nasir, and sometimes you’re the purchaser who received a substandard shipment of copper.

I hear it tastes pretty good, too.

Your genetic data, your husband’s genetic data, and your future kids’ genetic data. They’re playing the long con on that one.